Archive for the ‘Conflict Resolution’ Category

“Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that.” ~Michael Leunig

Okay, so it’s not easy being famous and being in a relationship. We see this everywhere in the tabloids. Celebrity marriages failing for small reasons- egos, paychecks, other people, jobs…. And for athletes who play sports professionally, playing a sport is their job. It’s a great job since there are a lot of perks; however, in many celebrity athletes’ cases, it’s not always easy to balance those you love with the game you play.

The truth is that it’s not easy being a professional athlete. Despite the million-dollar paychecks, the paycheck only remains as long as you stay in good health, stay in good shape and stay at the top of your game. A few slip-ups and you start getting questioned. You practice for long hours off season and, on season, you travel. A lot. When do you even have time to date, let alone plan a life with someone? And do they really like you for who you are off camera, or for who you are on camera? These are some of the questions faced when choosing such a demanding career. Both relationships and sports take a lot of time if done well, which is why it’s hard to choose both. This is why many of these relationships fail- the stresses are too much, there’s too much at stake, and there’s not enough time spent together.
So how does one cultivate and keep a long-lasting relationship despite the stresses of playing a sport professionally? The advice below can apply not only to athlete relationships, but also to any relationship in which one or both partner may have a job that means they’re not home a lot of the time. So without further ado, here are some qualities essential in a relationship that’s meant to last.
1) One of the foundations of a strong, lasting relationship is that of trust. Particularly for a relationship of this magnitude, trust is essential. If you’re going to be gone a lot, your significant other should be comfortable with that. However, make sure your behavior when you’re on the road is such that he/she can trust you.
2) Good, consistent communication is also a must. Maybe your significant other doesn’t have to know every single place you’re at or every single thing that you’re doing, but they should have enough of an idea that he/she doesn’t think anything funny’s going on behind his/her back. Do whatever you need: call, text, email, chat, Skype… We live in the Information Age- there are plenty of communication channels you can use to keep in touch with your sweetheart.
3) Adaptability is also key. With such fluid schedules, both people must be able to adapt to changes in the other’s schedule. Sometimes inconvenient things happen, but this shouldn’t be a huge stress in a relationship. Things change, but your relationship should not. Be flexible. They’ll make it up somehow.
4) So you’re gone a lot, but the dynamic between you and your significant other should not fall apart because of this. You and your significant other are the ultimate team. Your partner is your haven, the one you come home to after the end of a hard week on the road. Don’t neglect the importance of this. Make time for dates just for the two of you- cook dinner together, go to the movies, see a different sporting event… Remember what it was like in the beginning and don’t lose that original spark. Date nights are essential even if you’re just hanging out on the couch in your sweats.
Finally, the most important for celebrity relationships is:
5) Keep it private. This is ESSENTIAL when one of both of you is in the spotlight. Even though it’s so easy for reporters to follow you around so they can sell tabloids, do not talk about your relationship in public. Any problems you’re having, don’t have in public. There are certain things you don’t even tell your friends, because in the end, it’s just you and your partner in the relationship. No one else should be involved.
My last point is this. If you’re a pro athlete (or even a D1 athlete) and want to keep a relationship going despite the stresses of playing a sport, then I hope these tips will help ground you and remind you why you chose to be in a relationship despite everything. However, if you want to play the field (and no, I’m talking sports), then that’s also honorable. Just be safe out there.
Next week we’ll discuss remembering to love the game you play.

“I am surprised at the way people seem to perceive me, and sometimes I read stories and hear things about me and I go “ugh.” I wouldn’t like her either. It’s so unlike what I think I am or what my friends think I am.” -Hillary Clinton

Public image is perhaps the most important thing for a professional athlete to think about promoting. After all, it’s obvious that this individual has the skills needed to get into the game. However, do they have the public savvy to stay there? This is probably the main reason I decided to pursue this very niche field. At the time, the University of Oregon was getting a lot of crap because some of the football team’s big names- Masoli, Blount, and James, were getting accused of starting fights, stealing, smoking, and abusing girlfriends. I myself, was as shocked as anyone else on campus. Here were good students and great athletes getting accused of these outrageous crimes- many of which turned out to be true. If you remember, Masoli actually ended up getting kicked off the team.
Generally, it’s not college athletes we see misbehaving- it’s professional athletes. Last year, Tiger Woods was discovered to have been having affairs with a number of other women. Just earlier this year, Brett Favresent pictures of his man parts to an NFL game host. Steroid use was really popular for a while, something that Alex Rodriguez and Lance Armstrong could attest to. And athletes were also attracted to other kinds of sports… Michael Vick and dog fighting, for example.
And while I’m not supporting a free pass for any of these guys, sometimes I think that these crises could have been handled better.
For example, I remember watching how Woods’ PR team was handling (or not handling) the Tiger Woods episode and thinking that I wish I knew a better way to fix the problem. Sadly, it’s not an easy fix. It’s not like when an athlete is about to go pro, they have to take a class in college called Playing Sports and Dealing With the Real World 101. Although maybe they should…
This is where my desired career path and Competition Not Conflict merge. In my mind, I think that athletes should all get assigned to publicists or PR teams that are specifically trained in conflict resolution and even more so, get trained to handle conflict resolution with athletes specifically. Also, CNC is currently developing some conflict prevention programs for athletes, something that’s also maybe even more useful than conflict resolution or crisis management-type work.
Athletes must be taught, from a young age, that they are not invincible and that the rules of society do apply to them- maybe even more so than the average-Joe. After all, these men and women are role models to children and to society at large. Having a good public persona is essential to gaining and keeping strong advertising contracts (look at how many Woods lost when that whole fiasco went down). But athletes also owe it to themselves to maintain healthy and happy lives outside of their sports. Taking steroids has a huge effect on physical health, domestic issues have a huge effect on an athlete’s performance (again, Woods’ post affair interviews and performances can be examined), and getting involved in crime makes an athlete look like nothing more than an elite thug.
Sadly, there is no easy fix for this issue and we’ll be examining it in bits and pieces on this blog throughout the year. At the beginning of the term, I breakfasted with an old friend of mine on campus. She was asking me about my internship this year and I was explaining to her what exactly I wanted to do. An older couple at the table next to us interrupted me and we all launched into a long conversation about athletes and their accountability as citizens at both the college and professional level. At the end of the conversation, the woman took my hands and said, “I’m glad you’re doing what you’re doing. Those guys need someone like you.” I can only hope I can live up to what I say I can.
Next week, we’ll start breaking some of this down. Let’s start by talking about crime and athletes. Until then, cheers.

“If you make every game a life-and-death thing, you’re going to have problems. You’ll be dead a lot.” ~Dean Smith

The other day, I sat in class discussing the importance of victory in a sports match. The group was composed of a variety of athletes and fans and we all had different answers to one question. At what cost does a victory come? Although answers varied, we all agreed that what starts out as a game when we were children quickly becomes more as we get older. Though still young in college, suddenly sports has become about making money. The game, at times, becomes a life or death matter.

Putting so much stock into, what should just be a game may seem silly to people who are not sports fans; on the contrary, the outcome of the game is incredibly important to the morale of a team’s fans. Psychologists have long been fascinated by figuring out why fans act and feel the way they do at athletic events. But let’s step back in time for a moment.

Humans are tribal creatures and thus, our desire to be connected to a group is embedded into our DNA. Back in the day, tribes rallied around warriors and war games. In fact, games and early sports (like jousting and polo) were often played in order to rally villagers around their nobility or for marriage ties to be decided between two noble families. So you see, sports have always acted as some kind of glue for communities.

These days, fans gather in the thousands to watch a single game and to rally around a particular team. And all kinds of things can happen at these meetings. Inter-fan violence occurs in the forms of brawls and riots and fans collectively lose their voices cheering loudly for their team, amongst other things. As fellow sports followers, I’m sure we can all attest to watching some strange display of fan-dom during a game.

Psychologists have been studying the phenomenon of fan-dom and have discovered that ties to a certain team run deep. To all of you who have ever said, “But it’s just a game” when your friend comes home dejected following a loss, I’m here to tell you that fans actually experience physiological and hormonal changes along with their teams.

A study in Georgia found that male testosterone levels actually rise up to 20% following a win, while testosterone levels plummet by rates of up to 27% following a loss. We’ve also already discussed the “us vs. them” ideology- which explains why fans identify with their team after a win (“We won”) and draw away after a loss (“They lost”).

Charles Hillman, a psychologist at the University of Illinois, even discovered that highly zealous fans’ arousal rates rise. These arousal rates are similar to those attributed to seeing erotic photos or seeing images of animal attacks. Edward Hirt, from Indiana University adds to this finding. He discovered that both male and female fans were more optimistic about their sex appeal after a victory.

However, perhaps the most appealing part about sports fan-dom is the escapism factor. Watching a really good game (especially one in which your team is winning) seems to be akin to getting lost in an exciting movie or compelling book. For a few hours, fans can escape the drudgery of their own lives. They also find a sense of belonging amongst the thousands of fellow fans. In fact, according to a study done by the University of Kansas, ardent sports fans actually have lower levels of depression and alienation than do non-sports fans.

A lot more is surely to be found in this niche field of fan psychology, and after all, this was only a basic primer. However, I know I will be thinking about this research when I go sit amongst my fellow fans when the Ducks play Stanford today. It’s just college and it’s just a game, but maybe it really isn’t that simple.

It’s been a long time since I blogged (here thinking I’d have so much time this summer), but hey, I’ve been working and jump-starting my career in sports media by planning a totally fun and unique track and field event at none other than the University of Oregon’s famous Hayward field.

I started thinking that I wanted to get involved in sports PR around the same time as this opportunity practically fell into my inbox. Competition Not Conflict, a non-profit organization that’s part of the University of Oregon’s School of Law Dispute Resolution program, was hosting its first annual fundraising event to raise money for what they do- create ways to work through and prevent conflict in sports, whether it be between coaches and players, players and fans, or… well, whoever, really.

Considering it was a related field of work, I jumped right in and ended up as the PR Coordinator for the entire event. All I can say is it’s been great fun and awesome experience. But now, I’m sure you’re wondering exactly what the event is…

“A Night at the Races” will be the name for Competition Not Conflict’s primary annual fundraising event. It was inspired by the spirit of TrackTown, USA (Eugene’s nickname) and the glamour of horse racing. What I love most about the event is that it’s geared toward the community- meaning any one can spectate or participate. There will be great local vendors, great entertainment from UO Cheerleading team, and then of course, my debut singing the National Anthem (I just had a singing lesson today to get my voice back in shape).

I’m planning on continuing to work with Competition Not Conflict (CNC) throughout the remainder of the year, blogging for them and getting more experience in sports related PR. Look for me coming up on Fridays on the CNC blogging website shortly. And swing by if you’re in town Saturday evening. It’s “A Night at the Races” you surely won’t want to miss!